Judgey-Wudgey: 2012 Oscars Red Carpet - Under the sea

The Academy Awards showed solid trends in stand out red, white, black and gold looks. Those gals who paid their gays to think outside the box for them took us on an ocean adventure of colour and texture in blues, greens and invertebrate hues.

A new red carpet delicacy: Minced Medusa.

Kristen Wiig wigged us out again in another nudey-goldy number. This J Mendel gown looks like a jellyfish that was forced through a shredder.

Does my mid-life crisis look tragic in this?

Not one to be outdone in the nude department (mid-life crisis duly noted) Cameron Diaz offered us a SPANX all-in-one with a wave of couture tentactles masquerading as a Gucci Premiere gown.

Berenice Bejo's boobs are silently screaming for support.

Although Best Actress nominee Berenice Bejo’s pale mint green Elie Saab gown was stunning, the fit was a bit droopy. The twins were crying out for a little structure.

Glenn Close in the ugliest colour in the history of entertainment shindigs.

We really wanted Meryl Streep and Glenn Close to BRING IT on the Academy Awards red carpet, to show these young and mid-life (we’re looking at you Cameron and Angelina) Hollywood chicas classic elegance that endures trends. We didn’t realise that Zac Posen is a hypnotist, he appears to have put Glenn Close into a fishtail coma (see SAGs). Can someone please tap her on the shoulder and wake her up? She’s been Posened.

That green is HIDDY. It’s a colour a kid makes when they mix all the poster paints together. The fit and finish is unusually good for Posen, and we likes the tuxedo jacket/gown combo, but that tail bustle is ridiculous. The cutest gay on the planet has dressed Reece Witherspoon, Kelly Osbourne and Glenn in samey mermaid dresses this awards season. Zac knows there are other silhouettes, right?

Staple me into to a Wang Gang tree.

Another head scratcher of a look was another Best Actress nominee, Viola Davis in Vera Wang. We know the Wang Gang needed any press other than the Kardashian premature divorce and subsquent awkward David’s Bridal collaboration, but creating a dress inspired by a Lego tree maybe ain’t the direction to go in.

                                            

Inspiration can come from anywhere.

Penelope Cruz, funny girls Leslie Mann (sister from Knocked Up) and Tina Fey in blue and Esperenza Spalding does 'the microphone' in more red carpet ripping over on BOHOMOTH.COM