Judgey-Wudgey: 2012 Oscars Red Carpet - Red Room

Seriously, there was a scary show of uniformity on the Oscars red carpet. Black, red, white and gold dominated. Those who didn't follow the memo shall be banished from future presenting gigs and will have to actually earn the right to be there (we're looking at you Kate Mara). Not surprisingly, the big trend for Fall 2012 was reflected in gown choices on Oscar night. These starlets and their stylists won't be seen in current trends. Oh no, six months into the future is where it's at.

It wasn't just shoe-gazers (and Angelina on sight of Stacey Keibler) who were seeing red. The A-List crowd was rampant red, if not on their backs, on their lips.

Michelle Williams wears 'it's not red' after wearing 'it is red' at the SAG Awards.

We're not the only fashion watchers who are stunned by the praise for Michelle Williams in this red/orange/fugly in any colour Louis Vuitton dress. Her twee-ness knows no bounds. Not content with the cutesy hair, sweetheart strapless neckline and layers and layers of awful frill, Michelle wore a bow brooch at the waist. This dress is has too much going on already - it doesn't need extra adorments. Maybe Michelle's parasite buddy Busy is earning a living picking out busy dresses for her busy host friend.

Michelle built us a red carpet career for two. How sweet.

Speaking of Busy Phillips and a busy dress. Major WTF moment. It's not red but our eyes are from that Dolce & Gabanna print being burnt on my retina. The shoe choice is a mystery, hot pink platforms  have no rightful place at the Academy Awards.

Does my head look small in this?

Though it is clear that Emma Stone is chasing a young Oscar and the fashion endorsement express,  she does pull some pretty good looks together. Although we  like this dress very much. The issues  lie in the fact that this isn't really a great dress for her. Hot off the Giambattista Valli catwalk at Spring Haute Couture 2012  in Paris, it is almost identical to Nicole Kidman's 2007 Oscars dress. Red hair, red dress, huge bow - message is clear: Give me an Oscar soon, I'm the next Kiddo.

The other issue here is that Nicole Kidman is tall and lean, Emma isn't gangley enough for this dress. It needs height and a never-ending neck. Emma, go get your own ideas and stop looking into Nicole's homework.

Check out Natalie Portman, Colin Firth's lucky cow of a missus and Jane Seymour all in red on BOHOMOTH.COM.